Besides the obvious fact that we, as a family, and more generally as a tribe, do not celebrate the Sainted Señor Valentine, there is an even more compelling reason why we will not commemorate Cupid with the purchase of any- thing electronic. After all, I made it through the holiday season without caving and I absolutely refuse to buy either of my boys a Nintendo DS, iPod touch or Game Boy this Valentine’s Day. Would you like to know why? Because I will lose them forever and I’m just not that stupid!
OK, maybe I’m being harsh. But let me tell you about two events that occurred only yesterday. First, my youngest had a play date with another 8-year-old boy. Now I don’t love kids in general. I mean, I love mine and all. But it takes a special kind of non-related kid for me to really feel a kinship and attachment. This little boy is a special kid. He’s charming and funny, kind and thoughtful, an unusually delightful little chap. Yesterday, I picked up the kids at school and before they were even buckled into their booster seats, this little boy, let’s call him Max, had his DS out of his backpack, his head slumped, and was basically lost to us entirely. I tried talking to him. Nothing. He simply would not engage. My son, for all practical purposes, had escaped into the same electronic universe over Max’s shoulder and was completely unresponsive as well.
I shuttled the boys to a sporting event, got them each snacks, and finally had to pry Max’s tiny little fingers away from the offending DS. On the drive home my son Eli was lamenting the fact that he didn’t have any kind of hand- held game device. He told me his life would be so much better if only he could have a DS like Max. In fact, he reminded me that Valentine’s Day was just around the corner and that would be the perfect time to redeem myself for having so brutally neglected his electronic yearnings over the holiday season. He laid it on pretty thick. I was almost buying it. Until … I spoke with my best friend, whose teenage son has been going through a rough patch. As punishment for various offenses, the distant young man lost his bedroom computer, television, phone and all other electronic forms of entertainment. I asked her how things were going. Surprisingly, she told me she couldn’t remember a time when family life was better. Her son was hanging out with the rest of the clan, playing board games, conversing, participating in everyday shared events. It was a miracle, she believed – a miracle she couldn’t help but notice coincided with the boy’s loss of all electronic privileges.
OK, I thought. I get it. Forgive my anthropomorphic association, but electronic devices are evil. They exist merely to take away your children, diminish your capacity to parent and destroy your family altogether. They lull you into buying them because they’re “fun,” “educational” and “everyone has one.” But you must resist their alluring siren song just as Ulysses once did, or, like countless other mariners, you will end up cast- ing yourself into the sea to meet your ultimate destruction. It is up to you to say “no” on this issue. Trust me, the future of the next generation depends on you. Refuse to send your children into bedroom exile by allowing them to have a computer tucked privately away in their room. Deny all requests for portable technology that will isolate and alienate your children and drive them away from you faster than a flying potato. And for heaven’s sake, do not, under any circumstance, show your Valentinian devotion by purchasing a pocket-size, hand- held gaming device. Buy a box of chocolates if you must. It only takes one tooth-brushing to eradicate the negative effects of the cacao bean.
Debra Rich Gettleman is a mother and blogger based in the Phoenix area. For more of her work, visit unmotherlyinsights.com.
