There are certain heartfelt and unshakable promises we make to those we care most about. In the context of aging, a child promises a parent, “I will never put you in one of ‘those’ places.” The bride and groom vow to care for one another “for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health.” But the reality is that in terms of physical and emotional stress, caregiving is arguably the most challenging endeavor one will ever assume. Caregiver burnout is a serious concern. And it’s not uncommon for the person receiving care to outlive their caregiver.
Let’s look at these promises a little more deeply and explore a more realistic meaning. First of all, if you promised to take care of someone and find you no longer have the strength to do so adequately, you may feel a sense of betrayal or failure for not keeping your word.
And while there is no denying the feelings you have are real, it’s important to know that they’re not justified. That’s because other options are available. And seeking another source for care is, in fact, part of your job. By doing so, you are indeed fulfilling your obligation as a caregiver and keeping your promise to your loved one.
The level of care you provide will have an influence on the amount of stress you can endure and how quickly burnout can ensue. Caring for someone who is mentally alert, but still requires physical care such as bathing, transfer assistance, feeding, dressing and incontinence management, can be physically exhausting. If the caregiver is elderly as well, the risk of back injury or falls may result in the caregiver needing a caregiver, too.
Caring for a person living with dementia, memory loss or Alzheimer’s presents an entirely different slate of challenges, especially as it relates to behavior and the unpredictable nature of the disease. The experiences of some caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients are particularly heart-wrenching. One man awoke in the middle of the night to find his wife rubbing nail polish remover over her entire body, resulting in third-degree burns. Another lady was found walking without shoes or a coat down a railroad track, in the rain at night, looking for a job. An elderly man, living with his daughter and her three young children, pointed a loaded gun because he believed he was facing enemy soldiers in World War II. Fortunately the situation was resolved peacefully.
Another all-too-common result of caregiver burnout is elder abuse. Caregivers can lose patience when their loved one’s behavior changes. Anger and resentment can set in. Without a proper or professional support system in place, it can become easy to lash out verbally or physically. Likewise, it is not unusual for the care recipient to become frustrated, angry and turn on the person who loves them the most.
But effective solutions are close at hand. In addition to comfortable accommodations and attentive care for all the places one’s life may go, many area assisted-living and memory care communities offer respite care, a service that can provide a much needed “breather” for both the caregiver and their loved one. There are also options for in-home help. And quite often these services are Medicare certified. If you need support, resources, respite care or just a simple conversation with someone who can partner with you through these challenges, contact Freedom Plaza at 1-888-794-7802.
Karen Perry is director of sales marketing for Freedom Plaza Peoria, a Life Care Community located at 13373 Plaza del Rio Blvd., Peoria, AZ 85381. For more information, call 623-876-2416 or visit brookdale.com.
