The Question: What makes a house a Jewish Home.
Answers:
Rabbi Rober Eisen, Congregation Anshei Israel, Tucson
It does not happen by accident! One of the key factors in the equation is the desire to make our houses Jew- ish homes. Given all the stresses and strains of 21st-century life (not the least of which is the pressure to conform to the vagaries of an ever-changing secular culture), we need to want to make our houses Jewish homes. That means living with purpose and “intentionality.” Our values are not what we say we believe; they are reflected in, by and through what we do. Just because the people in a house are Jews, does not mean that the home is, or will be, Jewish.
Along with desire, so must there be ample opportunities for the Jews in the house to be Jewish. For example:
• Are there mezuzot on the doors to acknowledge as oc- cupants go about their daily routines?
• Are there Jewish books and periodicals open and avail- able (i.e., actually read)?
• Is time made for Jewish time … are Shabbat and festi- val/holiday observance given any kind of priority?
• Is there any sense of kashrut (actual and ethical) when it comes to preparing and partaking in meals?
In essence, what makes a house a “Jewish home” is the effort we put into making it so. And, it is important to remember that as critical as what goes on inside the walls of a house may be, so is ensuring that we link the walls of our homes with the walls of the organizations and institutions that make our communities what they are – that we link ourselves to that which is greater than ourselves: link our
house with God’s! A house does not become a Jewish home by accident. It takes an intention that is defined by very particular Jewish behaviors.
Rabbi Micah Caplan, Congregation or Chadash (Conservative), Scottsdale
What a wonderful question! Every time I walk into a home of one of our congregants, I love looking for Jewish symbols. Of course, finding a mezuzah on the front door is a great start. The ritual items I see in a home leads me to a better understanding of what kind of Judaism a family holds near and dear. But it is more than the Jewish ritual items and artwork that make a house a Jewish home. The memories that are created, the values and ethics that stem from the home rooted in Jewish texts, stories and traditions are equally important. When a couple stands under the chuppah (wedding canopy) we recite many blessings that the two will build a Jewish home together. Building a Jewish home means filling it with ritual objects, displaying them and using them throughout the year. Making a Jewish home also means filling it with conversations and relationships that are rooted in Jewish values, morals and traditions that are imparted from generation to generation. Building, making and main- taining a Jewish home creates opportunities for holiness and godliness to fill the world. The Jewish objects that are displayed and the Jewish traditions that are shared with others enable a Jewish house to transform into a Jewish home!
Rabbi Samual M. Cohon, Senior Rabbi Temple Emanuel, Tucson
The famous beginning to Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina is “Happy families are all alike.” I think that applies in a funny way to Jewish homes: good Jewish homes are all alike in some basic ways, whether the people living there are all Jewish or not. In physical, intellectual and spiritual ways these houses include elements of Jewish identity and practice that help affirm the positive, enriching role that Judaism plays within the building and within the family.
Physically, Jewish homes are comfortable displaying physical objects that highlight their identity. A mezuzah on the doorpost, whether elegant, elaborate or simple, makes it clear that this is a Jewish home, dedicated to seeking shalom bayit (peace of the house) inside. In addition, other Jewish ritual objects like Hanukkah menorahs, Shabbat candlesticks, seder plates and shofarot are on display, and set a Jewish tone and quality. Intellectually, books on Jewish subjects are available on the walls and tables; after all, what would a Jewish home be without books of all kinds? We are a reading people, intellectually curious about our own tradition and many other subjects, and although Kindles are a good way to read while you travel, actual Jewish books still bring a unique quality to a home. And spiritually, a Jewish home has a commitment to some level of ritual observance: lighting those Shabbat candles weekly, transforming the home on festivals into a place of special joy and energy.
But at heart, what makes a Jewish home is the ongoing commitment to living a warm, loving family life – no matter the size or makeup of the family – and to creating a true mikdash m’at, a small sanctuary in the house of peace, tranquility and love.
Listen to Rabbi Cohon host “The Too Jewish Radio Show,” KVOI 1030 AM Sundays at 9 am
