So it’s a new year, Valentine’s Day has come and gone again, and you are single. You most likely have had enough of those concerned, pitying looks that silently say, “Oh, you are single, at your age.” You know they are secretly thinking, “What is wrong with you?” The fact is everything is right with being single. Let’s take a moment to point out all the positives of your single life.
1. First of all, you are free as a bird, and you can travel the world. One of my favorite things is to travel solo. The truth is, when you travel alone you are never alone. People find you, gravitate toward you and want to protect you. When a couple travel together, they tend to be more insular and spend time only with one another, which makes them more alone than a solo traveler. Traveling solo also makes you more interesting and alluring. People love to hear your stories, and they put you in a special class where you are seen as an inter- national man/woman of mystery. Now that should put a smile on your face.
2. It is all about you. Seriously, that is as good as it gets. Your main goal in life is whatever you want it to be in terms of activities, adventures and how to spend your funds. If you wake up one morning and decide you want to surf, you can go take lessons. A painting class might be a great way to spend your Sunday afternoons, so just go ahead and sign up. The world is your oyster, and if you want to learn how to dive and find your own pearls, it is just a phone call away.
3. Be happy about your life. I know family members might be bugging you about “project grand-children.” And if it’s your mom who has done the world for you, appease her and go to singles events. (I know, I know – but all you need to do is meet one person.) Otherwise, your job is to enjoy your life. You see, happy people attract happy people. So the only way to meet the person of your dreams who is optimistic and enjoys life is to be that way yourself. Therefore, your obligation is to bask in your wonderfulness.
4. One of the best parts of being single is about the dishes, laundry and vacuuming. You might have to do all these chores around the house, but seriously, if you are single and not in the mood to deal, no one cares if they are done immediately. If you don’t feel like picking up the magazine off the floor, no one is there to give you a look of horror at your miserable housekeeping skills. There is something so fabulous about living your life exactly as you wish. You set the schedule and how you would like to spend your free time. And people are giving you looks of horror about your singlehood, otherwise known as freedom?
5. You are exciting, you are intriguing, even if you don’t think you are. People assume your life is just like that of a character in the movies. If you don’t believe me, ask any married person with kids what he or she did for dinner the last two nights. Chances are he or she is too exhausted to remember. Every day for you can be an adventure, or it can be filled with reading books and gaining knowledge to throw out at cocktail parties. You can make your life as interesting as you want it to be. Now doesn’t that feel good?
6. Every outing has the potential to be fabulous and fun; you never know whom you might meet. It could be going out with friends or on your own. While going solo might seem weird or uncomfortable the first time you do it, if you go to an organized event and make an effort to talk to people, you might surprise yourself. It also makes you very approachable for someone who finds you interesting. If you always travel in a group, it can be intimidating for someone to try to chat with you.
7. People pay attention to you. Talk to any of your married friends; they always find your life interesting. They remember the days when people flirted with them and their concerns were not married people dilemmas, which often focus on dishes and diapers. Whether it is true or not, they see your life as filled with possibilities and the freedom to do as you please.
So while you might get annoyed or upset when people look at you as if being single is synonymous with being a leper, it’s not, it just means you are fabulous and enjoying your life.
The reality of your singlehood is the following: You have something to look forward to because if you do want to find a life partner, statistically speaking, the odds are in your favor. At some point the right person will surprise you, and then you might have a wedding or some sort of celebration to plan. So your future looks bright. You should enjoy every moment of be- ing single – because even if it feels never-ending, it’s not going to last forever.
Masada Siegel is the author of Window Dressings, available at masa- dasiegelauthor.com.
